


My Own Private Alamo

by Lala_Sara



Series: E'Vira [8]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Blackmail, Dubious Consent, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 07:06:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8739487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lala_Sara/pseuds/Lala_Sara
Summary: Garak has one ultimate secret that can break his relationship with Julian at last. Julian reacts on this revelation slightly unpredictably.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I took some things from post-canon novels, mostly from "A Stitch in Time" by Andrew Robinson and "Crimson Shadow" by Una McCormack. But I twisted most of them. The point of all this series was to bend canon. I call this genre "loose canon" :) So I don't ignore canon but I will do everything to interpret it sideways. There are no facts, only interpretations, as Friedrich Nietzsche said ;)  
> I did it in script form (loosely) but exporting formatting into AO3 is a pain in the ass so you can download it with all formatting here (https://yadi.sk/i/mzpVcSj8329JAG)  
> I'm Russian and not confident enough about my English but I couldn't find English beta. If you are irritated by my mistakes enough to be my beta - you're most welcome!  
> It's in seven parts and maybe I will someday update with some Tolan, Tain and Mila stuff (written or drawn) but I think I'm done with Garak and Julian for now.

 

E'VIRA

Episode V

MY OWN PRIVATE ALAMO

Written by

Lala Sara

FADE IN

INT. CARDASSIAN HOSPITAL - DAY

Bashir’s station. Julian and Doctor Mavik, an elderly Cardassian woman, are beside it during lunch.

JULIAN BASHIR

I really appreciate, doctor Mavik, that you forgave me for usurping your position. And agreed to share your experience with me. Cardassians are not the only people who appreciate wisdom of old age.

DOCTOR MAVIK

Oh, that was then and that is now. Now nobody appreciates an old age. Now is a new age, only young can 'dig' it. Oh. I was in the resistance that shaped this new world when you still were in your adik's belly, young woman! Now everyone is wise only because they survived the Fire. Soon ones that were born after will proclaim themselves the wisest precisely because they never knew different Cardassia. So now everyone deems themselves wise. We old women and men are just a nuisance, bad reminder. So who are rebuilding the world? Novices, amateurs and...

  
(She cuts herself short)

JULIAN BASHIR

You may tell it, doctor Mavik, I will not take offence. ...And aliens.

DOCTOR MAVIK

I'm not against aliens. I'm sure as hell not against you. My last remaining kin almost died in the plague you stopped. Don't mind the old grumpy woman.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh no, I like that you can share it with me. I imagine it's frustrating. So tell me, doctor Mavik. Is that why the Occupation really ended? Because the general population found out that you and Bajorans are virtually one people?

DOCTOR MAVIK

No. Because Detapa Council threatened military to tell it to the general population.

JULIAN BASHIR

Ah. But when Ziyal...

DOCTOR MAVIK

Of course most of people already knew. All doctors knew, we spread information. That was the objective of our cell. Spread this information.

JULIAN BASHIR

That same cell which Garak... dismantled.

DOCTOR MAVIK

(Shrugging)

He had to.

JULIAN BASHIR

You're not mad at him for that?

DOCTOR MAVIK

You’re looking for enemies in the wrong place, young man. He was doing what he learned to do. It's like blaming me for healing. I learned to fix. He learned to dismantle. Besides he had his own special part in this.

JULIAN BASHIR

In resistance?

DOCTOR MAVIK

He maybe didn't belong to any cell and 'dismantled' a good bunch of them but if it wasn't for him...

JULIAN BASHIR

Now I'm very interested.

DOCTOR MAVIK

He didn't tell you? Oh, the modest man. It's a rare.

JULIAN BASHIR

What? What did he do?

The console alarm informs the readiness.

DOCTOR MAVIK

(Lays hand on Julian's shoulder)

Oh, I think you already know. Your simulation is ready. So it's really doable, ha?

JULIAN BASHIR

Now you're spying on my results to make sure you can fill the gap I made? Can you at least let me do it for one man?

DOCTOR MAVIK

Oh, but will you stop on one man?

JULIAN BASHIR

I might. I might not. I don't know how to be against the planetary conspiracy, though. I have to ask my fiancé first.

DOCTOR MAVIK

Not every woman is a member of 'planetary conspiracy'. Did you forget I'm the one against such conspiracies?

JULIAN BASHIR

Well, you were against one but...

DOCTOR MAVIK

I had a husband. I know how it was damaging for him. If you can prevent the damage for future generations I'm not the one you have to fear. I don't think there is a 'planetary conspiracy' anymore. Nobody gives a slet.

JULIAN BASHIR

Well, isn't it a brave new world.

 

INT. JULIAN'S AND GARAK'S HOUSE, THE BATHROOM - EVENING

Julian is brushing his teeth and otherwise grooming, Garak is in on the toilet with a PADD.

JULIAN BASHIR

We have a new doctor. She's something. Smart, pretty.

ELIM GARAK

Hm.

JULIAN BASHIR

I think I'm falling for her.

ELIM GARAK

Mm.

JULIAN BASHIR

Do you remember you were offering a three-way with a woman if I fail?

ELIM GARAK

Um.

JULIAN BASHIR

Well, I am failing. So...

ELIM GARAK

Argh.

JULIAN BASHIR

You promised.

ELIM GARAK

Yes, yes, I'm not backing down on it.

JULIAN BASHIR

But you're jealous.

ELIM GARAK

I don't have a right to be.

JULIAN BASHIR

Of course you do. And I'm glad you are jealous. I’m flattered. Oh, I'm just ceffing with you, Elim, I was talking about doctor Mavik. Kel's teacher?

ELIM GARAK

Well, I wouldn't put it past you. You have some... gerontophilia tendencies.

JULIAN BASHIR

(Laughs)

Oh no, she's way past my age limits. But she's really a charming old woman. And she told me why Tain was so angry with you.

ELIM GARAK

What, in particular? He had several reasons.

JULIAN BASHIR

You orchestrated the Detapa Council blackmailing Military about the Bajoran genetic kinship.

ELIM GARAK

(Starting sonic bidet)

Strange, as I remember I was trying to stop it.

JULIAN BASHIR

Well, you tried not enough.

ELIM GARAK

That's the same argument as with my 'saving' by Remara's brother. If he didn't try enough to kill me, it doesn't mean he saved me.

JULIAN BASHIR

(Sighs and finishes with his grooming)

You are a modest man. It's a rare.

Garak chuckles.

INT. SOME CARDASSIAN HOUSE - DAY.

It's a flashback.

Garak and Akellen Macet in the scene.

ELIM GARAK

But they still use those old ugly uniforms, Akellen. I know why he made sure they send you there.

AKELLEN MACET

(Laughs sadly)

For uniforms? Not because it's on the brink of the Union, farthest he could get me except actual exile?

ELIM GARAK

He knows that the thought of you in that ugly uniform will drive me nuts.

AKELLEN MACET

Oh my. Does he?

ELIM GARAK

You don't know his pettiness.

AKELLEN MACET

Oh, but I know your paranoia.

Akellen takes Garak's hand.

AKELLEN MACET

I will miss you.

ELIM GARAK

I don't want to think about it. It'll be just as always. Couple of visitations a year. So nothing will change. Except those damn uniforms! Well, that would be one more reason to undress you, I presume.

AKELLEN MACET

(Laughing)

Every cloud has a silver lining, yeah?

INT. JULIAN AND GARAK'S HOUSE, THE BEDROOM - NIGHT

Julian and Garak in bed. Garak is still with the PADD.

JULIAN BASHIR

We haven't talk properly since that damn dinner.

ELIM GARAK

What do you want to talk about?

JULIAN BASHIR

Tuvok called. He didn't find anything about Malik. They had an agent on that delegation, though. It was some Gregory Petrov. I gather not the one you mistook as Malik's father?

ELIM GARAK

No. But it's interesting because he was one half of that same-sex couple. Husband of a member of delegation.

JULIAN BASHIR

Maybe he knows something. Tuvok said he's still alive. He will ask. Also I gathered by Tuvok's grumble that one of his new agents is Khan's daughter. You know, THE Khan.

ELIM GARAK

She must be very old.

JULIAN BASHIR

Apparently not. She was made about the time when the Bajoran wormhole opened. They even tried to use her during Dominion war but she was too young. They didn't tell me about her. I thought they showed me all of my kind - at least that was the deal. But now I think what else they didn't tell me?

ELIM GARAK

You seem to be interested in that girl.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh, don't be jealous. Twice in one night, my head will blow.

ELIM GARAK

I am not. You shall meet her.

JULIAN BASHIR

I'm actually planning. I will invite her on our annular “GMO” meeting. Introduce her to everybody. She must be dying to meet someone like her.

ELIM GARAK

When is this meeting?

JULIAN BASHIR

Three months from now. I missed the last one - I was in prison. You are welcome to come with me, actually. It's on Earth. I would like to see where you lived in Paris. Maybe hear some stories about that time... Maybe share some of my own.

ELIM GARAK

No, I'm busy.

Julian sighs.

JULIAN BASHIR

You know I love you, right? Despite any... Whatever it was that Kel didn't tell me you asked her to tell. I am curious but it wouldn't change it. For me nothing is erasing what you are now and all good you've done.

(After the pause)

I have to believe in this, in atonement, in intentions. If I stop, I start hating myself and then everything will go downhill. Been there, done that. Years of disgust with myself.

ELIM GARAK

Years? When the hell did you managed to do that, mister Perfect?

JULIAN BASHIR

That would be one of that Paris stories I was talking about. I was pretty wild before I got into the Academy. Couple of summers that I would never forget. Despite how much I want to. Want to hear all about them - with every dirty detail - you just have to go to Earth with me.

ELIM GARAK

It's tempting. I will think about it.

JULIAN BASHIR

Is it about Akellen? The thing why Kel thinks you're a liar and all?

ELIM GARAK

We won't be talking about Akellen.

JULIAN BASHIR

For someone who doesn't want to talk about him you are mentioning him too often.

ELIM GARAK

Do I? Search in your perfect memory how many times I mentioned him beside telling that I don't want to talk about him?

JULIAN BASHIR

None. I'm sorry.

ELIM GARAK

I don't want to lie about him. Don't make me. Please.

JULIAN BASHIR

Why just don't tell the truth, then? It was that embarrassing?

ELIM GARAK

Because the truth about him, however pure and delightful, would always be intertwined - purely by forced association - with other man's story, the dirtiest story I have in my biography.

JULIAN BASHIR

Mm. Dukat. Perfectly understandable.

ELIM GARAK

I don't know what are you talking about.

JULIAN BASHIR

I thought you didn't want to lie.

ELIM GARAK

I really don't want to talk about it.

JULIAN BASHIR

It must have been very frustrating - to love a man who is a spitting image of the man you despise. And also knowing that the gland came to the wrong cousin. Facial hair was that useless mutation, was it? I decided to grow sideburns. Will they suit my face; how do you think?

ELIM GARAK

You're such a... cloaca sometimes.

JULIAN BASHIR

I'm not asking about Dukat. Only his cousin Macet.

ELIM GARAK

I can't really tell about one without the another. That's what I'm trying to tell you. And I don't want to lie.

(After the pause)

Okay. You win. He died in the Revolution, the one Damar started. On our side, one of the first ships to turn against their own. But I didn't know he's dead till I returned here. I loved him all my life, since childhood. Yes, he is depicted in my Bamarren story but he's not the one you would think. I loved him through every infatuation I also had in my life including you. I am still mourning after ten years and it hurts to talk about it. That's all I can say without bringing Skrain into it. Would your curiosity be satisfied by this?

JULIAN BASHIR

Yes. I guess... Does it mean you approve the sideburns?

Garak takes the pillow from under his head and hits Julian with it. Julian is chuckling.

ELIM GARAK

(Hitting one more time Julian with the pillow)

And I would never lie about Akellen. So no, it wasn't about him. But I don't want to talk about it either.

JULIAN BASHIR

You win. We won't be talking about it.

ELIM GARAK

Do you want sex?

JULIAN BASHIR

No. Let's just sleep.

(After the pause)

We can talk about the three-way...

ELIM GARAK

Argh. Okay. Do you have someone in mind besides doctor Mavik? Please just don't offer Naven if you still want me to get therapy. Or anyone I know, for that matter.

JULIAN BASHIR

Did Dukat beat you up that time because he thought you use Ziyal like that? The third one for your little dirty affairs? Oh, I hope he thought it was me, did he thought you were bonking me?

ELIM GARAK

Why do you think he even knew I'm sentimental?

JULIAN BASHIR

Well... Call it a hunch.

ELIM GARAK

No. He was angry because he thought we have a sexual relationship.

JULIAN BASHIR

Which you didn't have.

ELIM GARAK

We were friends.

JULIAN BASHIR

And she was in love with you.

ELIM GARAK

You were jealous!

JULIAN BASHIR

Maybe... Yes. First I was afraid for you. But then yes. I was.

ELIM GARAK

I should know the changeling wasn't you only by that. He was okay with it. We had lunches, the three of us. Now I'm glad it wasn't you.

JULIAN BASHIR

I never was okay with you and Ziyal. Did you?..

ELIM GARAK

Use her like that? No. Before Skrain beat me up I even had no thought of it.

JULIAN BASHIR

But when he was beating you you just had to tease him, right?

ELIM GARAK

Well, that was why I actually get close to her - to piss him off. It worked. I didn't know both of them would see it as something sexual, though. And you.

JULIAN BASHIR

I didn't know you won't... And you actually were very... You still think of her tenderly.

ELIM GARAK

My love, she was the only thing I could think of as my child. I knew her as a baby. I... I almost had my real child who would be her sibling.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh. My. You have to throw some details here because what I see now is Dukat pregnant from you.

ELIM GARAK

That would be preposterous.

JULIAN BASHIR

That's my point. So?

ELIM GARAK

Some time I... was forced to think I had a child. I still don't know was it the case at all but even if it was the mother of the child was dead before it was even could be detected. Or... I don't know. Skrain was there first and Kira said he was alone with the corpse so he had plenty of time to destroy any evidence of the baby even if it already had a skeleton. I was thinking of asking you to make tests or whatnot but... What's the point?

JULIAN BASHIR

Naprem was pregnant from you?

ELIM GARAK

I don't know. She said so. But it could be a lie, to make me get her and Ziyal away from Skrain.

JULIAN BASHIR

It was you who get them on the Ravinok. Well, it figures that he told Kira that he did it.

Garak is sitting very still like he is waiting for something bad to happen and answers with monotonous voice.

ELIM GARAK

No, he organized the Ravinok, I organized the Lissepian freighter. But the rendezvous point was too late. I didn't know where and how Skrain planned to kill them. That were Breen, obviously. Talk about his tendency to make alliances with unreliable species - they didn't do exactly what he hired them to do.

JULIAN BASHIR

So you thought you had a child? Dukat thought that Ziyal could be back on Bajor, did you also? That thing with Rugal... Was that an elaborated plot to have a reason to look at Bajoran's orphan archive?

ELIM GARAK

Of course Skrain already looked at them. But I knew some things about Naprem he didn't. I could recognize their new identities. I didn't find anything despite that. And then Kira found the Ravinok. Of course Skrain beat me to it. I get there after them. There was no evidence of the dead baby or anyone that age there. So I get close to Ziyal to ask her what she knew about her sibling. It wasn't really necessary, I admit. There was no child of mine. Either it didn't exist at all or it was dead before it was born - what's the difference?

JULIAN BASHIR

So you sublimated your parental feelings onto Ziyal.

(After a pause)

So how come? Bajoran women have glands. You don't have a gland. Dukat on the other hand had. And you and Naprem must be at some point sexual for you to believe you could be a father. But you could be persuaded to have sex with a woman only under pressure or… as a three way? What?.. How...

Garak closes his eyes. The bad happened.

JULIAN BASHIR

You was sleeping with Dukat? You were sleeping with Dukat and Naprem, three-way. Not because she is necessary for you as a Cardassian woman is necessary with another man without a gland because Dukat had a gland. But maybe because she was necessary for Dukat because he is not sentimental... Did you... Did you force him?

ELIM GARAK

Not that time.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh. I’m actually right. I thought I was joking. It was clear that if Dukat knew that you are sentimental he was just punishing you like that. So it’s clearly that. But you’re not actually denying you forced him, too? But, like, other times? Oh, now I understand why I said that. I knew for quite some time but was afraid to think about it. You knew his secret so you definitely could blackmail him. And you were in love with Akellen, but the gland was in the wrong cousin. Who was the spitting image… So you... Make him... Make Dukat… Have sex with you to... While you fantasized about Akellen. I... I don’t want to know. I really really don’t want to know. Lie to me, say that I’m wrong.

Julian in shambles. He puts his hand on his mouth and starts silently sobs.

ELIM GARAK

I finally found the unforgivable thing, my love. Do I?

JULIAN BASHIR

I... I don't know. It's Dukat, for goodness sake, why should I worry about Dukat? He was rapist himself.

ELIM GARAK

You should worry if it's me who made him this way.

JULIAN BASHIR

Stop telling on yourself, you have plenty of real guilt here without it.

Garak gets out of bed and goes to the replicator. He punches the code and brings materialized cup to the bedside table.

ELIM GARAK

You have two options, my dearest. You can leave me. I won't stop you. I was living borrowed time anyway. I was lying to get you. You were made believe I am a decent being. Hate me.

(After the pause)

Or you can forget. It's just an option. I'm not pushing you.

JULIAN BASHIR

You could just... feed it to me.

ELIM GARAK

You asked me to not make decisions for you.

JULIAN BASHIR

Yes. That's... That's kudos for you. Smart move. I told you the present weights more than the past. You are listening. That's good... Good...

ELIM GARAK

Your decision?

JULIAN BASHIR

I can't make it right now.

ELIM GARAK

The longer you wait the lesser chance of the solution to work and then we would be out of options.

JULIAN BASHIR

I need more facts. Tell me everything. Don't tell on yourself, just give me facts. I will make conclusions myself.

ELIM GARAK

It's a long story.

JULIAN BASHIR

Then you better hurry.

ELIM GARAK

I did blackmail him. He was my sut'tert for very long time.

JULIAN BASHIR

So Kel knows, she was talking about him. That was what you wanted her to tell me? You wanted me to know. You orchestrated this whole conversation to make me realize what I was already suspected.

ELIM GARAK

I can't do it anymore, my love. I tried... I’m tired.

JULIAN BASHIR

Yes, yes, you told me this before. And you're calm. Why you're calm? Usually when you think I'll leave you're shaking.

Julian himself is shaking.

ELIM GARAK

I'm not calm, my love. I'm numb. I would not mention Dukat ever again if you chose to forget.

JULIAN BASHIR

That would be ideal, yes?

ELIM GARAK

Yes...

JULIAN BASHIR

But then what? I'm not stupid. I probably knew this for a long time, I just didn't want to believe. Every time I would guess it you would erase my memory? What if I won't let you know before it settles in my long-term memory?

ELIM GARAK

You can always leave.

JULIAN BASHIR

What would YOU do then, hm? No, I'm not gonna leave. I can't hate you to that degree even if you are a rapist and murderer of innocents. When I first realized I love you I signed on all your past. I knew you were killing and maiming and hurting. I knew you were bad.

ELIM GARAK

But you thought all bad things I've done were for Cardassia. You never signed on me being just a selfish scum.

JULIAN BASHIR

Were you, though? A selfish scum? You didn't tell me all facts. I know that Ziyal was a part of a plan to stop occupation. Dukat with his trousers dropped on Bajor was a part of a plan. You did it. You deposed him from legat, didn't you? Gave some people idea to send him on Terok Nor.

ELIM GARAK

I made his father a deal. Either he confesses all the crimes he's done plus couple of things I needed to be out of my way at that time and he will be executed or I will tell about the gland. And the incest. And then his son will be not just deposed but executed with him. He chose first option. I might have lied about the execution, they would definitely kick Skrain from Militia and made him choose between being sut'tert and maimed but I doubt there would be execution. Maybe just a little fatal accident...

JULIAN BASHIR

Incest?

ELIM GARAK

Skrain and Akellen were twins. And cousins. Now it's not so legal as it was couple of centuries ago.

JULIAN BASHIR

That's why they both had mutations. Oh, but if you would tell about this Akellen would also be punished. You were bluffing. You still killed Akellen’s father, though. But it’s okay because he knew him as uncle? That’s rich coming from you. So? Dukat senior is dead, junior goes to Bajor... Ziyal and other pregnancies happens. What’s next?

ELIM GARAK

Evidence. Blackmail. Detapa Council orders the end of occupation.

JULIAN BASHIR

But the only true evidence they could show to the public - Ziyal, is lost.

ELIM GARAK

I failed big time, yes. Fortunately, Militia wouldn't risk it. Everybody knew, it was just the matter of open acceptance that they couldn’t risk. They pushed occupation while knowing that the Bajor is the family. They deliberately closed eyes on the fact.

JULIAN BASHIR

Kel told your secret to get out of Hutet... That was it?

ELIM GARAK

That was nothing. She didn't do any damage to the plan at that point.

JULIAN BASHIR

How she knew?

ELIM GARAK

Through my carelessness. I told Kelas he wasn't the first man with a gland whom I had intimate relationships with.

JULIAN BASHIR

You were blackmailing Dukat already?

ELIM GARAK

No. This thought came to me later.

JULIAN BASHIR

But you already had sex with him?

ELIM GARAK

That was one time. Akellen offered. Earlier I lied, my love. I knew I would lie when it's having something to do with Skrain. I lied. I didn't love Akellen when we were children. Not right away. I was in love with Skrain. I was a shallow idiot. He was dashing. Arrogant. Annoyingly beautiful. Already mature. Akellen was clumsy, stupid, as I thought. He was still underdeveloped. In love with me. Pathetic. I despised him. But then...

EXT. BAMARREN INSTITUTE - DAY

Akellen and Garak, both about fifteen years old.

AKELLEN MACET

He did it for me once. To let me know how it feels. He knows I'm sentimental. He knows I didn't feel good with sut'tert and would not try it with a girl. He's kind to me this way. But you should know he's doing it with girls. Lots.

ELIM GARAK

How can you make him do it with me then?

AKELLEN MACET

Not... with you. I will tell him I want to try it with you. So... You have to pretend you want it with me.

ELIM GARAK

He will kill me.

AKELLEN MACET

I swear he will not. If I say I trust you he will trust you, too.

ELIM GARAK

He will say that we should then get a girl for it as everyone else. Why would he...

AKELLEN MACET

Because he knows I'm shy and can't make arrangements with a girl.

ELIM GARAK

He could make arrangements for you then.

AKELLEN MACET

Too many people in one place. He would stay anyway for me.

ELIM GARAK

Then you say to him not to stay.

AKELLEN MACET

Do you want it or not?

ELIM GARAK

I just don't think it's possible, that's all.

AKELLEN MACET

He will agree, you'll see.

EXT. BAMARREN, HIDDEN ENCLOSURE - DAY

Skrain who is really seems more mature than both Garak and Akellen waits for them there.

AKELLEN MACET

We're here. It's Elim.

SKRAIN DUKAT

Hi Elim. So... How do you call sentimental who is doing it?

ELIM GARAK

I don't know.

SKRAIN DUKAT

Still sentimental. Because he will sob all way through thinking how rarely he can do it. So - value my good humour. And do you understand that I will kill you if you tell it to anybody, murk? Like, literally kill you. Murder you. And bury you under this tree.

Skrain hovers himself over Elim. Elim is scared but stands his ground.

ELIM GARAK

Y... Yes.

SKRAIN DUKAT

Good. Shall we? Drop your pants, idiots. And I have to prepare myself.

Skrain takes out the brochure of obviously erotic content and settles on the ground. Garak and Akellen sit beside him. Skrain is flipping through brochure. Elim is trying to see his face covered by the brochure. Akellen touches his neck ridge, Elim throws the hand off.

AKELLEN MACET

(Whispering in Elim's ear)

We have to look like a coupe or he'll become suspicious.

Elim nods. Akellen keeps massaging Elim's neck ridge that starts to react becoming darker and more blue. Akellen clearly is enamoured by Elim.

SKRAIN DUKAT

Oh yeah baby, that's right. Mm.

Skrain utters more moans.

SKRAIN DUKAT

Okay, guys. You can get it.

Akellen and Elim reach to Skrain's groin that is out of the frame. Elim is entranced by what is there.

SKRAIN DUKAT

(Taking Elim's hand and shifting it)

Not there, you moron, here.

ELIM GARAK

Sorry...

Both Akellen and Elim takes something from Skrain and move it to their own groins.

SKRAIN DUKAT

Go on. I'll be right here if you need more.

Skrain again is hidden behind the brochure.

Akellen shyly puts Elim's hand on his own groin.

AKELLEN MACET

It's coming out.

Elim takes Akellen's hand on his own groin. But he still looks at still not-exactly present Skrain. Skrain tries to put pressure on his own groin but it's not enough. He throws a glance at Akellen and Elim. Elim quickly pretends he wasn't staring at him.

SKRAIN DUKAT

Oh for crying out loud, Ack, pop it into him, don't be such a girl, stop thinking so much.

Akellen looks apologetically at Elim, Elim is not sure but nods. After some manipulation Akellen appearingly 'pops it in'. Elim finally looks at Akellen. Akellen doesn't look back. They are motionless and embarrassed.

SKRAIN DUKAT

Great Gul, I wish I could pop it into someone. Mm.

Elim looks at Akellen and we see how he starts to understand something. They both are orgasming but intensity of it just kicks in. Elim squeezes Akellen tighter. Akellen looks at Elim. That's the moment.

SKRAIN DUKAT

(Suddenly appearing beside them and tearing them apart)

Hey, you have one hole free, make room.

Elim doesn't know what to do and lets Skrain in. Skrain positions himself and sighs with satisfaction, eyes closed. Elim is confused. He looks at Skrain who is now so close. Everything he wished for. But then he throws a glance at Akellen whose face is distorted with pain and disturbance. Akellen quickly tries to smooth his features but Elim saw enough. He forces Skrain out. Skrain is not really struggling because he didn't expect any resistance.

SKRAIN DUKAT

What the hell are you doing, man?

ELIM GARAK

Don't touch him!

SKRAIN DUKAT

What? Why?

AKELLEN MACET

Elim, don't.

ELIM GARAK

Because... Because I'm jealous. Don't touch him!

SKRAIN DUKAT

Oh really. Well, big deal. If you don't want it, so long, idiots. And not a word to anybody or I'll cut you to pieces.

Skrain pulls his pants up and goes away.

AKELLEN MACET

I swear I didn't want to touch him.

Akellen also goes out of the enclosure, embarrassed and down.

ELIM GARAK

(Under his breath)

I know you didn't. That was the point.

Elim sits on the ground, digs his face in his knees and starts weeping.

ELIM GARAK

Fool. Such a fool.

INT. JULIAN'S AND GARAK'S HOUSE - NIGHT

Continuation of the scene.

JULIAN BASHIR

So, what happened? Akellen offered what? Dukat? Three-way?

ELIM GARAK

Nothing. I understood I was in love with the wrong brother. That's all. But being in love with the right one was also painful.

JULIAN BASHIR

Dukat knew you knew his secret? He didn't kill you or anything?

ELIM GARAK

We were children. Nobody killed anyone.

JULIAN BASHIR

But you did it.

ELIM GARAK

A little. Do you want all dirty details? I doubt it will turn you on, it's Dukat we're talking about here.

JULIAN BASHIR

So he was his usual charming self even then.

ELIM GARAK

You can say it like that. First time in my then short life I realized that features that attracts me in people are not necessary good ones.

JULIAN BASHIR

What happened with Naprem?

ELIM GARAK

Payback.

JULIAN BASHIR

How?

ELIM GARAK

He forced me. That was the first year of me being at his mercy. Oh, fresh hot blooded vengeance. I had the implant installed in preparation for exactly that reaction so he couldn't hurt me physically. But implant didn't work with mental pain. Of course me being on Terok Nor was the part of a plan all along and I made it voluntarily. But Skrain thought Tain threw me to him as a booby prize for ruining their family whose Tain was kinda fond of. But in fact, I was watching over the assets, so to speak. I failed miserably, that's another story. But for Skrain it was a payback time. So he would slet her and then force me do the same. I don't resent this. I almost became a father. It's selfish thinking I could afford it. But it's wired into you. Instincts. Just stupid procreational instincts.

JULIAN BASHIR

Did Akellen have children?

ELIM GARAK

Yes, three. He had a pretty decent family. Not very close one with him being sentimental and serving on the brink of the Union but still. They all died in the Fire. Or were executed by Founders for his rebellion, nobody knows either they were collateral victims or targeted. And what's the difference. Mekor Dukat is alive, though, imagine that. I have to watch over my shoulder for this one. They say he's not particular fan of mine.

JULIAN BASHIR

Thank you for telling me about your enemies. Can I have a full list, please? If you'll be killed I want at least know who could be behind it.

ELIM GARAK

That would be a long list.

JULIAN BASHIR

I would like it anyway.

(After a pause)

I always thought I can't afford children. Being secretly enhanced and all. Not just because I didn't want new risk of exposure but because of the risk of complications my type of humans usually gets. I'm interested in Khan's daughter also because of that. Is she's his clone or have another parent? Not enhanced one? How it works, does she have complications, if not is it because of that? So... Maybe we should rethink it? About children. Both of us.

ELIM GARAK

You would be a loving parent. I wish you all children you want.

JULIAN BASHIR

I said both of us. I mean common children, Elim.

ELIM GARAK

(Sighs with closed eyes)

Beautiful dream.

JULIAN BASHIR

I'm not going anywhere. And I'm not drinking your poison either. It's not a dream. It's a plan. I was already thinking of it. I never... I never let myself think about children. But clearly we both want them.

ELIM GARAK

What about Dukat? Julian. Love of my life. My e'vira. I am a predator; don't you see? Real one, not just thinking I am. That's the actual fact. People like me don't have families. They shouldn't have families.

JULIAN BASHIR

I'm not justifying what you did. Skrain was a scum and it's not your fault, he always was like that, with you or without. It doesn't justify your actions, though. Nor it condemns you. I think he punished you enough already. And... And I don't want to punish you, too. Let's go to sleep. If we can sleep. I have a hard day tomorrow.

Garak keeps standing.

JULIAN BASHIR

Are you still numb? Come here, my love. I'll un-numb you.

Garak goes into bed. Julian cuddles him.

JULIAN BASHIR

Tell me about the scared boy in the closet. I think I need to hear it right now.

ELIM GARAK

I... Why... Okay. Tolan was afraid I was sentimental - as I understand because he was and it somehow hereditary... You promised to look into it, my love, is it hereditary?

JULIAN BASHIR

I'll look into it. I still have too little data, you sentimentals rarely come out. Go on.

ELIM GARAK

Tolan was so afraid that when I first took fancy on a boy - occasionally it was a stable boy where riding hounds where kept and I was nine years old - he brought female sut'tert home. Women who couldn't bear children couldn't marry. Most of them became sut'terts. For men without women. It is a tradition of every boy when he turns thirteen to visit sut'tert. To let his hemipenes out for the first time. You must let both of them out or else they would not develop right. Most boys after that would visit sut'terts regularly before enjoining. We have a ban on contraception so you do not want to be forced to enjoin the first girl you slet. They also were safe choice for affairs and all...

JULIAN BASHIR

Stick to the story, Elim. I already know who sut'terts are.

ELIM GARAK

You can just imagine the rest.

JULIAN BASHIR

Don't be difficult for once. Tell the story.

ELIM GARAK

She... did it to me. When she came for a second time – Tolan wasn’t satisfied with one time and wanted to ‘fix the result’ - I hid from her in the closet. That's all. I don't blame him. He wanted me a better life. Better than his one.

JULIAN BASHIR

He should just accept you for who you are then. You all really definitely need sex education. Reminds me of Earth couple of centuries ago. Tolan was sentimental?

ELIM GARAK

Yes. I didn't know until he died. Mila told me.

JULIAN BASHIR

Tolan was the one who could stand up to Tain? Not Mila, it was Tolan?

ELIM GARAK

Yes.

JULIAN BASHIR

Are you still thinking I was lying about Tain's test results? Can I speak about it without you being freaked out?

ELIM GARAK

Who was my father if not Tain?

JULIAN BASHIR

I have a theory. Bear with me. Tolan and Mila were siblings, yes? You know that in certainty or, again, you didn't test it?

ELIM GARAK

They were looking alike. I don't know. I don't really know.

JULIAN BASHIR

What if Tain also was sentimental? Did you see him with women? With Mila? How he was with Tolan?

ELIM GARAK

Argumentative! They were fighting every time Tain visited us. Stop insinuating!

JULIAN BASHIR

Or they were flirting?

ELIM GARAK

It wasn't cef'tef!

JULIAN BASHIR

How old were you? Could you know the difference?

ELIM GARAK

Argh!

JULIAN BASHIR

I was thinking of sut'terts. You know who also considered in your society a useless member besides barren women? Sentimental men. It's a high risk of sentimental children - or you were told so. They are not very good husbands either way. So where would they go? To serve society? Where you wouldn't want someone who can have a good family serve because of the risks of liability? The Order prevents. Or it allows?

ELIM GARAK

You want to tell me I was serving forty years with those people and didn't know they were like me?

JULIAN BASHIR

Why not? You all were taught to not come out. And Order isn't offering much trust anyway. You all must be feeling paranoid there. And everyone was a pretty decent liar bound by a general professional duty. So why not? You're resenting because you were in love with a colleague and didn't dare to ask? Was Pythas Lok someone real?

ELIM GARAK

Shut up.

JULIAN BASHIR

Well... It's too late for that, I guess. Because I won't give you up to anybody.

Julian squeezes Garak tightly.

ELIM GARAK

What about the free will?

JULIAN BASHIR

Well, if you violate someone's free will for long enough you are losing your own, buddy. So prepare for life term with me.

ELIM GARAK

I shudder to think of this horrible prospect, my Warden.

Julian hurrumphs like Odo.

ELIM GARAK

Oh please, don't do that. You're making me think of Odo in sexual ways, that's gross. Really. Don't. You wouldn't like if I do that, would you? And I can do it more convincingly.

(Hurrumphs)

See?

JULIAN BASHIR

I did it worse than that? I don't believe it. I made you think of him, and not just but in sexual ways. I must be doing something right then.

Julian hurrumphs.

Garak takes pillow and hits Julian with it.

JULIAN BASHIR

I really shouldn't introduce you to the noble human tradition of pillow-fighting. I clearly created a monster.

ELIM GARAK

You created a champion. I always win.

Garak hits Julian with the pillow.

JULIAN BASHIR

Only because I let you. But in fact you hit like a girl.

ELIM GARAK

Calm and calculated?

Garak hits Julian with the pillow.

JULIAN BASHIR

Exactly. You lack passion. Mercy! Mercy! If I won't sleep at all tonight, tomorrow I will sew the gland askew.

ELIM GARAK

What? To whom?

JULIAN BASHIR

Not to you yet. I have to test it first.

ELIM GARAK

So you...

JULIAN BASHIR

Yes, yes, I know how. I don't know if it will work in reality and not simulation, though. So bear that in mind.

Garak is lowering himself under the blanket.

JULIAN BASHIR

What are you doing? Hiding?

ELIM GARAK

(From under the blanket)

Reward.

Julian suddenly moans.

JULIAN BASHIR

No, Elim, I need sleep and not be excited again.

ELIM GARAK

But you always sleep better after sex. And it's only five minutes.

JULIAN BASHIR

I am sick of you patronizing me with this

(Badly imitates Garak)

"but it's only five minutes'". I can really go longer.

ELIM GARAK

Yes, but also you can go shorter. So five minutes is an average. And in my eyes there is no real difference between twenty minutes and one minute, you know.

JULIAN BASHIR

Yeah, stop boasting. We will know soon enough how long you can last. And busy your mouth with something else. Yes, with this. And this... And... Mmm...

EXT. JULIAN'S AND BASHIR'S GARDEN - EVENING

Garak is working in the garden. Julian is coming from the house.

JULIAN BASHIR

Here you are.

ELIM GARAK

Good evening, my love. How was your day?

Julian kisses Garak in chufa.

JULIAN BASHIR

There's another outbreak in North Provinces so it was hot. Also this strange thing... I should tell you about it some time but... I can't make head or tail of it still... Nevermind. I'll crack it any day now.

ELIM GARAK

I won't ask you how is the private project then.

JULIAN BASHIR

No. I didn't see it. There was no time. But my assistant says it's still holding. I didn't sew it askew then, I guess. Well, let's hope it will hold.

ELIM GARAK

Health of Cardassia is more important. I hope you understand that.

JULIAN BASHIR

Don't worry, your consciousness would be clean. I work on it only in my own time. I'm only lunching with the gland. I think it's a good tradition it better catch up on before it will be yours.  I still miss you during lunches.

ELIM GARAK

Nothing would make me happier but our offices are too far apart.

JULIAN BASHIR

(Sighing)

I want a ceffing transporter.

ELIM GARAK

Actually only yesterday we were talking about more affordable transporters for emergency organizations. Medic facilities are in the list.

JULIAN BASHIR

Give me the bad news. Not the government buildings?

ELIM GARAK

No.

JULIAN BASHIR

Well, I'll think of something. I can write the program to return me after some time.

ELIM GARAK

I'm not doubting your abilities in engineering, my love.

JULIAN BASHIR

Elim, I... I need to go somewhere. Last minute thing. I'm sorry. It's tomorrow.

ELIM GARAK

Where to?

JULIAN BASHIR

North Provinces.

ELIM GARAK

Outbreak? Of course. Cardassia is a priority.

JULIAN BASHIR

I'll be back before you know it.

ELIM GARAK

I doubt that. I will know.

(After the pause)

You know that e'vira also means e'kura, e'gehra and e'zira in one - family, friend and romantic love all for one person? Someone is literally everything to you. Incest often is justified by that. Through stupid Hebitian myths, I presume. Your people also have them. Gods are rarely numerous and rarely like mixing their blood with mortals. It's strange how we got rid of religion as of an ignorance's plight, pauper's disease, but now only aristocracy, elite is prone to still find it useful. But e'kura is not only the love for your actual kin but for the family you created yourself. Every good enjoined couple can be e'vira to each other.

JULIAN BASHIR

That's sweet.

ELIM GARAK

You're going away because of Skrain? Why wouldn't you just say so? I wouldn't mind, I told you. But you pretending you're not mad at me is rather offending. Are you afraid I can do something stupid? Even if you won't come back I won't, I swear. You can't stay only because you're afraid for me. If only for that, to ensure you are not forced to be with me, but I will continue to live. I don't promise quality of this life but I'll manage. I was managing before.

JULIAN BASHIR

I know you will manage. But it's not about Dukat. I don't care about Dukat. The only bad thing that is coming from this for me is that I can't be sure you are not blackmailing me.

ELIM GARAK

My dear?!.

JULIAN BASHIR

Emotional blackmail, remember? Does everything was carefully planned? You give off the false alarm and then watch me calming you down just so I get used to you being unfair to yourself, to make me think you always are. To make my habit to disagree with you on how bad you are. I see the tale about the boy who cried wolf was actually very useful to you. But of course you twisted its moral. So tell me, is it over yet? Or it's just another step and the real wolf is waiting for me still? It's what I'm afraid of. That there will come the day when you will tell me something that I really truly shouldn't forgive for my own sake but I will because of your conditioning. I'm afraid my flock is doomed. And I have to think on that. And decide if it's worth it. And I have to think without you. And that's why I didn't want you to know. I'm also afraid that you won't let me make this decision by myself.

ELIM GARAK

I can't be that good in my schemes if you see them through, do I?

JULIAN BASHIR

You have a tendency to underestimate me, still. I'm more of a match to you than you think. And that's the thing that keeps you drawn to me. But I'm not sure it's what I want from this relationship. Not on this plane. Not playing with that same relationship. I was always letting you manipulate me in anything else because you always bring adventures and I trust you in keeping me safe through them. But I don't know why you do THIS if not to harm me. To use me. I know you can't use someone you love. But... Do you though? Love me?

ELIM GARAK

Things are truly gloom if you doubt my love, my love.

JULIAN BASHIR

Is it such an absolute though? Why can't I doubt it?

ELIM GARAK

You can. And I'm certainly won't ask you to just believe me. You were talking about the boy who cried wolf. That's what's happening with the villagers. You don't believe the honest truth because you've been lied before. By me included. I know I don't deserve your trust. I never wanted you to trust anyone including me. And that's my reward. I gave you paranoia. So go on. You have a choice and you should make it.

JULIAN BASHIR

Something is different, though. You don't order me to go anymore.

ELIM GARAK

Oh, that's the problem? I was bluffing when ordering you to go and since then you called my bluff. What's the point of lying if nobody will believe you?

JULIAN BASHIR

I don't know, you tell me. You were lying you're not the spy even when nobody would believe you anymore.

ELIM GARAK

But I stopped when they got the poof, did I?

JULIAN BASHIR

So I have the proof that you don't want me to go?

ELIM GARAK

Do you?

JULIAN BASHIR

But it’s different. You can just use me. You said it yourself. It's not the proof that you love me. On the contrary. If you love me, you will let me go.

ELIM GARAK

I am letting you go. This would never change. I would never force you to stay however I want it and however painful it would be to let you go. But is it such a crime to try to lessen the probability of that? Yes, I am revealing the truth about me in steps, yes, the steps are from easy to hard. Yes, there is no guarantee that there is no harder step after this. That is all true. But there was no conscious conditioning. If you feel that you are forgiving me more now than you would forgive me earlier... Have you any thought that it could be because you are understanding me better now? Could it be because you know something about me that you didn't know before? THAT was my "devious" plan, my love. Judge that, not your twisted interpretation of it. But now you think it's also a manipulation and...  I know what paranoia is, my love. I lived with it all my life. But you can't do it constantly and with everyone. You asked me why I didn't check what Mila and Tain said? Why I didn't test anything? Because I drew a line here. I had to trust someone or I go mad. That's what confidant means. Be confident in their words.

JULIAN BASHIR

And now it's broken because of me. I made you doubt tem.

ELIM GARAK

Nevermind.  I just chose other source. Now whatever you say I believe you. But it is a responsibility. Because if you say I manipulated you then I start believing it myself. Maybe that will come to what you miss so much in our fights. Maybe I will order you to go. And I'm not sure I would be so easily persuaded to let you back into my life anymore. I won't let you live with a monster. You are the only one who fooled me into believing I am not one, remember? My belief in this lies only upon that. If you change your mind I will surely follow. And I love you too much to let you be in a monster's clutch.

JULIAN BASHIR

And that is a real emotional blackmail.

ELIM GARAK

More reasons for you to go.

JULIAN BASHIR

When you choose someone as confidant you take the risk of being a fool. How I lost it? I was so ready of being a fool with you. But I can't just force it back, I'm sorry. I'm so afraid right now. Maybe it's not just Dukat. Maybe it's because of the ceffing gland.

ELIM GARAK

Don't give it to me. I will not take it. I should have just let you do your little trust issue test, make you forget that you told me about it and after you succeed with the gland let you tell me you have failed and ask me to be with you anyway. But I would know it's a lie so what would be the point? How can I guarantee I'm not using you? What if I am? Do you think I'm not doubting myself every day? Do you think I'm not afraid that it won't work between us and I would be a reason? I am a reason anyway; either we break up because of what you think or because of what I think. You are never the reason. But it's always your decision. Always.

(After a pause)

You once told me that one cannot do anything with the relationship anxiety except just be there every day for the one one loves. I cannot prove anything with words, I can just be there. But what can I do if I can't be there? What proof would I have? I'm afraid that if you leave you will forget that I am there for you. And then I have nothing.

JULIAN BASHIR

I won't forget. There were ten years when I knew you are there for me despite me being away. It's not about distance. It's about feeling of being alone. I've felt alone and I don't know how to shake it off. Had you ever something like this? Being afraid someone isn't true to you when you have no evidence? How did you manage?

ELIM GARAK

You want my advice?

JULIAN BASHIR

Yes.

ELIM GARAK

You want the advice from someone who don't love you but manipulate you and use you? Are you sure? I'm afraid, there's no hope for you, my dear.

JULIAN BASHIR

(Chuckles)

You're right. That's preposterous. You will surely manipulate me into trusting you again. That would be... Useful, actually. I get it. I still trust you in the end. The fear has little to do with you. I have issues of my own. And I even can't begin to understand what are those. And if even I don't know it what can you do?

ELIM GARAK

Can I start by doing something exactly as you wanted me to do?  I order you to go, my love.

Julian startles.

ELIM GARAK

But I'm not forbidding you from returning.

Julian relaxes.

ELIM GARAK

If this journey has to be solitary... So be it. If you don't see that I'm there for you now it wouldn't matter how many light years between us. And you even not leaving the planet yet.

INT. UNKNOWN HOSPITAL - DAY

Garak is running through the hall. He holts by the extensive care unit walled with glass. Julian is lying there under the dome of biobed. Garak is shaking in distress.

Doctor Mavik goes by. Garak notices her.

ELIM GARAK

(Yells at her)

How could you allow this to happen?

DOCTOR MAVIK

Don't ceffing blame me, mister. I refused to assist him, per your instructions not to indulge him with mad ideas. And that is the result, he did it alone, by himself.

ELIM GARAK

My instructions were to keep him safe!

DOCTOR MAVIK

Oh go suck a thumb, Garak, I'm not working for you anymore, I was watching over him because I actually like him. And this - this is your fault. So don't shift your blame on me. If you wouldn't be such a shit it wouldn't occurred to him to try putting the gland in himself.

ELIM GARAK

How it happened to be with him in this forgotten place? He was planning to do it from the start?

DOCTOR MAVIK

He brought it with him, yes. I didn't know though. He was carrying it with him all the time, I just assumed the refrigerator is empty, for emergencies.

ELIM GARAK

If you would assist him...

DOCTOR MAVIK

No, I don't think it would do much good anyway... It wasn't bad operation; it was bad project in whole.

ELIM GARAK

So what happened? How anything bad could happen? He's a genius, he couldn't do it not knowing what would happen, couldn't he? And if he knew... There are more convenient methods of suicide. I don't understand... Or it's... To show me that I am the one to blame?..

DOCTOR MAVIK

That's utter nonsense. The lad made a mistake, that's it. Come on, I organized the transport, we can move him now. He'll be better in his own lab, there are certainly more medicine for humans than here.

ELIM GARAK

(Absentmindedly)

I doubt that. He was never ill and he had no other human patient for a year.

DOCTOR MAVIK

Federation embassy then. Come on, boy. Move it.

Mavik takes Garak by the shoulder and leads him out. Julian also is being moved.

INT. STARFLEET VESSEL – CARDASSIA IN THE PORTHOLE

The hall of some Starfleet vessel. Garak is sitting looking gloomily. Starfleet doctor is coming up and Garak jumps up.

ELIM GARAK

Is he?

DOCTOR

He will be just fine. But I don't know why shall I inform you. Who are you, again?

ELIM GARAK

Fine. He will be fine. Good.

DOCTOR

Who are you?

ELIM GARAK

Oh, don't mind me. I'm just...

Couple of Starfleet security officers come up.

DOCTOR

The condition doctor Bashir was in when he was brought here leads me to think he was deliberately maimed. I'm afraid our government would want to know what happened to its citizen. You have to answer some questions. Who maimed him?

ELIM GARAK

Oh, the operation was conducted by his colleague doctor Mavik.

Doctor motions to one of the security officers to go fetch Mavik.

DOCTOR

And who ordered this...operation?

ELIM GARAK

Me.

Doctor motions to other officer to arrest Garak. Garak doesn't mind. He's smiling.

INT. STARFLEET VESSEL, MEDBAY

Julian wakes up on the biobed.

JULIAN BASHIR

Hm. Where the hell am I?

Male vulcan nurse comes up.

NURSE

The USS Heimdal, sir.

JULIAN BASHIR

Tell me we're still on the Cardassian orbit. And Cardassia is intact.

NURSE

We're still on the Cardassian orbit. Cardassia is intact.

JULIAN BASHIR

Now answer me did you tell the truth just now?

NURSE

Yes.

JULIAN BASHIR

Good. You never know with you Vulcans whether you understand our human phrasing or don't. So you'll never be too careful. I'm sorry. I’m still confused.

NURSE

That's quite alright. You are unfamiliar with me and could not have known I understand your human phrasing.

JULIAN BASHIR

Sorry. So how did I get here?

NURSE

You had a surgery. Cardassians had not enough of human medicine, as we understood. Not enough to heal you after the post-op infection.

JULIAN BASHIR

So... I had an operation on Cardassia?

NURSE

We noticed traces of several invasive procedures. But we had another one here after that. Here's the report of it.

Nurse gives Julian the PADD.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh. Yes. I see. So I'm stable now.

NURSE

Yes.

JULIAN BASHIR

So I want to be transferred back down.

Human doctor comes in.

DOCTOR

I don't think it would be that simple.

JULIAN BASHIR

Really?

DOCTOR

Doctor Bashir. You have to understand our concern. You are still Federation citizen despite your... Let's say we can't turn a blind eye on what happened to you down there.

JULIAN BASHIR

Erm... And what happened to me down there?

DOCTOR

You were mutilated.

JULIAN BASHIR

Really? Well, they did what they could. When they understood they can't do what is needed they got help, you. Right? What criminal intent do you see here?

DOCTOR

The fact that you were mutilated! I couldn't see any reason for them to operate you in that area. I see you've read the report. They did this to you. And you were in very serious condition. Two clinical deaths. That's very serious. I see your mind seems clear but we still have to establish the damage to your brain.

JULIAN BASHIR

I don't have any damage. And no Cardassian was involved in my... 'mutilation'. I did risky operation on myself. I suffered the consequences. They tried to save me. When it didn't work they asked for your help. That's what happened.

DOCTOR

You did the risky operation on yourself?

JULIAN BASHIR

Yes! Without any assistance!

DOCTOR

What type of operation? Why by yourself?

JULIAN BASHIR

It was experimental procedure. I shouldn't do it but... I know I was wrong to not test it or whatever... But look, no one else is at fault. Where's doctor Mavik?

Enters the captain of the vessel, a Bolian.

CAPTAIN ESKIN

I’m captain Dixx’i Eskin, I see you’re up and about, doctor. You were asking?

JULIAN BASHIR

Mavik. Doctor Mavik.

CAPTAIN ESKIN

Yes. She confessed. As well as your Cardassian friend, minister or I shall say now ex-minister Garak. So I don't know why you try to cover for them. But... Are they threatening you? You know that you're safe here. And anyone who you care about they can threaten - we can get them to safety.

JULIAN BASHIR

(Chuckles sadly)

Yes, that would be nice. I care about minister Garak as he is my fiancé. Could you please get him to safety?

CAPTAIN ESKIN

Oh, I'm serious!

JULIAN BASHIR

Me too! All this is just a misunderstanding. Would you please release my friends? All they did was try to save me from the stupid mistake I made.

DOCTOR

Then tell us what procedure you performed on yourself. I would be able reconstruct timeline and consecution of action.

JULIAN BASHIR

I.... I can't do that.

DOCTOR

You don't remember?

JULIAN BASHIR

No. I... I can't do it. I'm under the vow.

CAPTAIN ESKIN

To whom?

JULIAN BASHIR

Cardassian medical society, I guess... I don't know. Can I talk to my fiancé? Please?

INT. STARFLEET VESSEL, BRIG

Garak is in one cell, doctor Mavik in another. Julian comes in to both of them. Security accompanies him.

JULIAN BASHIR

I don't know what's going on and I swear to you both I won't leave it like that.

(To the security guard)

Can I get into his cell, please?

The guard lets Julian into Garak's cell.

JULIAN BASHIR

What is going on?

ELIM GARAK

Exactly what you have planned?

JULIAN BASHIR

Seriously?

ELIM GARAK

I'm not complaining. I'm relieved, actually.

JULIAN BASHIR

What do you think is going on?

ELIM GARAK

You wanted to get rid of me, of course.

JULIAN BASHIR

Are you out of your mind?

ELIM GARAK

Why else would you do the operation?

JULIAN BASHIR

Well, I don't know... To stop you from leaving me?

ELIM GARAK

Yeah, I almost believe. After you told me you don't want anything to do with me. My love, you just had to ask. I will never forgive myself for not telling you that enough. You risked your life. Promise me to never risk your life again.

JULIAN BASHIR

I made a mistake. I thought the operation would be quite safe. I missed something. Probably my genetic idiosyncrasies I didn't know about.

ELIM GARAK

That's a relief.

JULIAN BASHIR

I did it because... Because I'm pathetic. I did it to... convince myself that even if you don't love me I still can... I wanted to convince myself I don't care...

ELIM GARAK

If I love you?

Garak looks shaken.

JULIAN BASHIR

Yes. I... I don't know. I... I couldn’t shake it off any other way.

ELIM GARAK

Then we both are fools.

JULIAN BASHIR

Mm?

ELIM GARAK

I know this feeling very well, my dear. I am also pathetic, remember?

JULIAN BASHIR

No, you're adorable.

ELIM GARAK

Well, then we both adorable. Adorable fools.

JULIAN BASHIR

Can we go back to being fools together now?

ELIM GARAK

I don't know how we can do it now, my love.

JULIAN BASHIR

You don't love me?

ELIM GARAK

I love you with every neuron in my brain. As you do love me, I now believe. We're fools alright. But the other part? About being together? I'm afraid we can't be together anymore.

JULIAN BASHIR

Why?

ELIM GARAK

Because I have to stay here. I'm ambivalent. When I thought you want me here I was relieved you got what you wanted. Now when I know you want something else... But I'm relieved you love me. That's something, right?

JULIAN BASHIR

You weren’t sure?

ELIM GARAK

I was never sure of your affections. The operation convinced me. If only I could do something to convince you...

JULIAN BASHIR

I believe you.

ELIM GARAK

You're lying.

JULIAN BASHIR

I don't know... What you mean you're staying here?

ELIM GARAK

My love, you truly don't know what you've done! What a relief.

JULIAN BASHIR

What?..

ELIM GARAK

Doctor Mavik had to warn you about this but failed. Well, she will also be punished.

JULIAN BASHIR

What's going on?

ELIM GARAK

They incriminated you the treason of Cardassian people. By breaking the oath that you gave about you know what.

JULIAN BASHIR

I didn't tell anything.

ELIM GARAK

I know. But you did the operation. That classifies as such. They incriminated you the intent of passing it through to Federation. Secretly. You booked the trip, did you?

JULIAN BASHIR

It's for the meeting with genetically enhanced team, you know that, it's annual.

ELIM GARAK

Yes. They know it, too. It's a convenient alibi. I took the blame on myself so it's alright. I don't know yet whose side I'll be spending my sentence though.

JULIAN BASHIR

There will be no sentence, Elim. I promise you.

Garak grabs Julian's hands.

ELIM GARAK

Don't do it!

JULIAN BASHIR

I'm not gonna just replace you with me, relax. But there must be other option. Your government is not distopian anymore, it has to understand some crucial things. Actually I think you made it worse with this confession. But we can get around this. Yes, it will be alright.

Julian kisses Garak in the chufa and gets out of the cell.

INT. CARDASSIAN CASTELLAN'S OFFICE - DAY

Julian is talking with Rakena Garan.

JULIAN BASHIR

Nobody needs international incident. I'm asking for fair trial. Not for him, for me. He's just covering for me - you know it as I do. I know you don't like him but you know he is no traitor.

RAKENA GARAN

So you're admitting you tried to...

JULIAN BASHIR

No! I'm admitting that I'm a fool, not a traitor! I did it to make him stay with me.

RAKENA GARAN

That may be just an excuse for your treachery.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh, for goodness sake, Castellan. Yes, I admit I wish your stupid secret was in the open, but I have no reason to do it by myself. Also it's not exactly a strategic secret, is it? What would everybody do if they would know? Humiliate you? Poor you. But then... Nobody cares enough! I refuse to let anyone rot in prison for such triviality even if we all were guilty!

RAKENA GARAN

Doctor Bashir!..

JULIAN BASHIR

Yes, I understand that you have the law and I agree to the process. If it's just and not just pretends to be.

RAKENA GARAN

I assure you...

JULIAN BASHIR

Then we have a deal?

RAKENA GARAN

Did you really did it just to tie him to you?

JULIAN BASHIR

I know I'm pathetic.

RAKENA GARAN

I don't understand why.

JULIAN BASHIR

I had doubts that he loves me.

RAKENA GARAN

You are strange creatures, humans. How he can love you at all? You're a man. Even if you can tie him with a gland... You can't give him a child.

JULIAN BASHIR

When all this will be over I swear I will make a dozen little critters just to shut you homophobes up.

Julian sighs. Garan is perplexed.

INT. TRIAL - DAY

Julian is on the stand.

JULIAN BASHIR

So I performed the surgery to make sure that my fiancé, Elim Garak, would not leave me. We had a row home before my trip. I was in poor emotional state and couldn't think clearly. I'm not very good at social things. Most definitely not good with relationships. I panicked. But I must say that my suspicions were unfounded. That's the important part. I was wrong. He would never leave me. I guessed it was just paranoia from stress or depression. But instead of just check my mental health - which I don't like doing in general and especially recently because of my failed relationship with one counselor... Never mind. Instead I turned to medicine I know and trust - surgery. I asked doctor Mavik for assistance but she refused. Her fault is only of not making sure I wouldn't do it without her. I asked some more stuff but nobody was willing to do it - I'm sure that doctor Mavik made sure of that. She assumed that I will not perform without assistance. She underestimated my will and skill. The procedure was successful. Mistake was in something else - what, I still have to determinate. Two hours sixteen minutes after the surgery I lost conscious. I made sure nobody disturbed me that night so I wasn't discovered till morning. The local team resuscitated me, made me stable, but they could not do me better. So the only way was to pass me to Federation medical crew who could know what to do with me. But they took the gland out of me before that. Nobody wanted the secret escape - not me, not the crew. I know that I cannot testify on what I did not see but I saw the medical report from Heimdal's crew. When I got to them I was as they called it 'mutilated'. As I understand there was no time to conceal the second surgery because I was crashing, again. I was sealed in stasis and shifted to Federation embassy and from there to the USS Heimdal that is stationed on the orbit and has better medical facilities and doctors than in the embassy. That's it, that's the story. In my last words, as my fiancé would definitely say in my place, I want to say that I hope that both our nations learned to trust each other through this decade and we won't be consumed by familiar paranoia. Garak is still on the Heimdall. In custody. For "mutilating" me. Because he knew I would be charged with treason here and between Cardassian prison and Federation one he chose the latter. Not because he doesn't love Cardassia and can bear one more exile but because he knew I would stay with him here and it would be unbearable for me as he thinks he is the only thing that keeps me here. If it would be Federation prison, then I have the whole universe and eventually forget about him. Well, he hopes... So paranoia - from both sides. I don't want this. And I'm sure nobody wants this. The Earth once survived similar disaster you endured. We survived. Barely. But we started to heal only when we met Vulcans who helped us rebuild. We became thriving as we never did before within this friendship. I hope we didn’t forget it. That we have a debt to universe to pay. I hope we didn't forget that we all are better together. Thank you for your patience.

THE JUDGE

Defender, is this true that Elim Garak is still under arrest by Federation?

THE DEFENDER

Yes, your honour.

THE PROSECUTOR

It only means they did it without Federation's knowledge. They could work for Section 31. Or even worse, Federation knows but it's their punishment for failure.

THE JUDGE

Argh! Just listen to yourself, it's definitely paranoia! I've heard enough of that nonsense. Do you have definite proof that doctor Bashir and/or minister Garak was trading state secrets?

THE PROSECUTOR

Only one secret, your honour.

THE JUDGE

So you have the proof?

THE PROSECUTOR

I have circumstantial proof...

THE JUDGE

That's what I thought. One of them, without a doubt - the fact they're sentimental?

THE PROSECUTOR

Of course! They sure are known to be particularly grumpy about this particular secret. It’s a motive!

THE JUDGE

And not a prejudice? Are you sure? Minister Garak was living most of his life outside of the Union. If he would want any state secrets revealed to our enemies he would already do it. And we even aren't talking about that, Federation is a strong ally, not an enemy. As for doctor Bashir - his loyalty to Cardassia is proven by lives he saved. It's easy to see the death toll and so easy to forget about life toll. You can't count lives the doctor saves by stopping epidemy so you forget. Don't forget. And by the way, if they actually decide to let other races to know about our shameful little secret, which I'm not convinced they did, so what? Who would die through this? I'd say let them all know. I'm so mad that someone decided that this case is worth the rod it would be stored on. We are a dying nation and we still care about those trifles? Enough to lock up the most prominent members of our society? Most useful ones? I shall try ones who made this case as enemies of the state, not the doctor and the minister. Great Gul, I wasted enough time on this absurdity. Doctor, you're free, case closed. Next!

INT. CASTELLAN'S OFFICE - EVENING

JULIAN BASHIR

Thank you for favourable judge.

RAKENA GARAN

It was accidental.

JULIAN BASHIR

Thank you anyway.

RAKENA GARAN

You're alright.

JULIAN BASHIR

But let me guess - you didn't do it for Garak. What's the story anyway? What he did to you?

RAKENA GARAN

I don't think he did something to me in particular.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh, let me guess, the Order? He wasn't the whole Order, you know.

RAKENA GARAN

He's done his bit.

JULIAN BASHIR

And he's sorry.

RAKENA GARAN

He may be seduced you into trusting him...

JULIAN BASHIR

I'm glad. I'm glad you don't trust him. It means you'll watch over him. He needs it. I'm not that kind of trusting fool, you know. I only love him. I don't think he's perfect. I know he has to learn new ways and it's not so easy as he thinks. I'm glad you'll watch over him.

RAKENA GARAN

Oh.

JULIAN BASHIR

He didn't tell you I was strongly against the whole endeavour? Now it just grew to "I can't stop him so I try to control it". I'm glad you will watch him for me sometimes.

RAKENA GARAN

You don't trust him.

JULIAN BASHIR

I trust his motives alright; you don't have to fear disloyalty to Cardassia from him even after it changed so radically. I just don't trust his methods. Watch out for his methods. And he is used to make decisions too quick. He's rushing, he needs shackles. Not that big so he wants them to unlock because he definitely can. But big enough to slow him down.

RAKENA GARAN

That's literally what I think.

JULIAN BASHIR

Then you are alright, too.

INT. JULIAN'S ROOM ON DEEP SPACE NINE, PAST - NIGHT

Julian is in bed. Garak is standing over him. Julian wakes up.

JULIAN BASHIR

Garak?

ELIM GARAK

Have you been waiting for someone else?

JULIAN BASHIR

I didn't wait for nobody.

ELIM GARAK

Good. It would be awkward to meet someone here.

JULIAN BASHIR

What's the emergency? Are you alright?

ELIM GARAK

I wouldn't be here if I was.

JULIAN BASHIR

What happened?

Julian is now in doctor mode, tricorder from under the pillow.

ELIM GARAK

That's not my body, my dear doctor.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh. I'm not counselor. I keep telling Sisko we need one.

ELIM GARAK

You'll do.

JULIAN BASHIR

I have to. So what's the problem?

Garak sits on the bed near Julian.

ELIM GARAK

I just needed a person's warmth, that's all. I dared to think you won't turn me down.

JULIAN BASHIR

Are you... talking about... sex?

Julian is alarmed.

ELIM GARAK

Are you? Honestly I will take anything right now.

JULIAN BASHIR

But it wasn't what you... Okay... Awkward. Of course you weren’t... What was I thinking about... Thought I was still dreaming?

ELIM GARAK

Will you drink with me?

Just now we notice a bottle of synthale in Garak's hand.

JULIAN BASHIR

Of course. You want to drink. That's... obvious.

ELIM GARAK

I didn't know what you like but it's what you drink most often. I'll have kanar if you don't mind.

Garak takes the bottle of kanar from the bedside table. Julian frowns.

JULIAN BASHIR

You really came to drink.

Garak makes a gulp.

JULIAN BASHIR

Is it Ziyal?

ELIM GARAK

In a sense.

JULIAN BASHIR

So Dukat?

ELIM GARAK

Also - in a sense.

JULIAN BASHIR

That's pretty obscure.

ELIM GARAK

No. I didn't mean to. I didn't come to be obscure this time Yes, it's about Ziyal and Dukat - but only by association. I miss someone. Terribly. That would be our annual meeting today - if not for this damn war. I miss him. And fear for him.

JULIAN BASHIR

Is it your friend?

ELIM GARAK

He is my friend, yes. And beloved. And my family.

JULIAN BASHIR

(Stricken)

You have a husband...

ELIM GARAK

We aren't enjoined. It's not for two men to be. But he is my family. Drink.

JULIAN BASHIR

I'm sorry.

Julian drinks the forgotten synthale.

JULIAN BASHIR

I asked you once does someone waits for you on Cardassia and you said no.

ELIM GARAK

He is not on Cardassia. He is on the Union borders. But yes, I lied. I used to not talk about him. As, I imagine, you used to not talk about your genetic enhancements.

JULIAN BASHIR

Is it illegal?

ELIM GARAK

It's dangerous. He suffered because of me enough.

JULIAN BASHIR

So it's an exchange for my secret? At last.

ELIM GARAK

In a way.

JULIAN BASHIR

So why Ziyal and Dukat? What associations? Or it's just in general?

ELIM GARAK

No. There's very strong association here. He's Dukat's brother.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh. Oh! This means you killed his father?

ELIM GARAK

I've said, he suffered enough because of me. Drink, doctor. Isn't it your Earth tradition to not make someone drink alone?

JULIAN BASHIR

Yes, sorry.

Julian drinks.

JULIAN BASHIR

I really don't know what to say.

ELIM GARAK

I don't expect you to.

JULIAN BASHIR

Right. I'm just a...

ELIM GARAK

(Whispers)

You never were JUST anything, Julian.

JULIAN BASHIR

Then who am I?

ELIM GARAK

I forget how your human's ears are keen... Not Ferengi, obviously, but...

JULIAN BASHIR

Don't! If I am not 'just' anything then who I am, god damn you!

Julian is agitated. Garak drinks. After the pause he turns to Julian and kisses him sloppily. Julian isn't shocked but angry.

JULIAN BASHIR

That's not the answer! You don't come in the middle of the night with a bottle, spill your guts all over me about the love of your life, tell me in more than obscure way that I mean something for you and just kiss me for the first time! That's not what people do!

ELIM GARAK

And what people do?

JULIAN BASHIR

I don't know. I'm not the expert.

ELIM GARAK

You will wonder what people do sometimes...

JULIAN BASHIR

I won't be your drunk one-night stand.

ELIM GARAK

You never are.

JULIAN BASHIR

That's right.

ELIM GARAK

You're right. It's not decent. I came only because you are the only one here who can make me forget about him. Not kanar, not the chip. Only you. How pathetic is that?

JULIAN BASHIR

I don't want you forget about him. You hear? Not because of me.

Julian sips from the bottle more often. He starts to sob.

ELIM GARAK

Don't worry. I won't touch you. Just drink. It all' go away in the morning. Drink up and sleep.

JULIAN BASHIR

You're going already?

ELIM GARAK

I don't think I can stay.

JULIAN BASHIR

What did you expect?

ELIM GARAK

That was pretty much what I was expecting, actually.

JULIAN BASHIR

That I will weep?

ELIM GARAK

This stuff always makes you weepy.

JULIAN BASHIR

Synthale? I don't remember that.

ELIM GARAK

You shouldn't.

JULIAN BASHIR

What will happen now?

ELIM GARAK

I will go and you will sleep.

JULIAN BASHIR

I don't want to sleep. And I don't want you to go.

ELIM GARAK

And what are you proposing?

JULIAN BASHIR

I'm sorry for... The outburst. If I can help you through this night, I will. How can I distract you?

ELIM GARAK

I don't know... A riddle?

Julian chuckles.

INT. PRESENT DAY, HEIMDALL, PRISON CELL

Julian and Garak. Garak's head in Julian's lap.

ELIM GARAK

Sometimes I think did he really forgot that night? Was he capable of forgetting? Being what he was. And then I think: were you? Were you capable? You see, the changeling was too... you. In that moment. You were always persistent in your sentiments on such nights. He perfectly executed it. But you were behaving the same way over and over because it was you - you would react on same things the same way without remembering them just because you still think the same. But him... It. It knew things, but only because it had your memories. It most certainly didn't think like you. But those nights weren't in your memories, not even blocked. They were deleted. As I thought. So how could he know how to behave?

JULIAN BASHIR

So you were suspecting that I remember?

ELIM GARAK

Of course I tested it before I used it for that. Before I was so sure you didn't remember anything. But after that? You could do it, physically. You could have much higher tolerance than I thought, you could have tasted it in synthale. I still don't know all your abilities and I suspect neither do you.

JULIAN BASHIR

But mentally? How could you think I remembered and didn't say anything?

ELIM GARAK

Well, yes, it could be cruel game but... The thing is you could be kind with me this. It's still was very bad for me but I just hoped it was your kindness.

JULIAN BASHIR

Kindness?

ELIM GARAK

Pity? You were not mentioning my humiliation; you were at least pitying me.

JULIAN BASHIR

I don't know. I don't know how would I react if I remembered.

ELIM GARAK

We will never know. So see, if even I didn't trust the most honest man I know - and that is no exaggeration, what do you want from yourself? I am not expecting you to trust me.

JULIAN BASHIR

But that's the thing. You are paranoid, that's normal for you. But I... Trust is a double blade. You can't be honest and don't trust others as you can't be lying and trusting simultaneously.

ELIM GARAK

(Chuckles)

I assure you, my love, there are all kinds of people.

JULIAN BASHIR

Okay. But at least we are like that. So me not being able to trust you doesn't equal you not trusting me. I am appalled of me.

ELIM GARAK

You shouldn't. You know I'm a liar. How can you trust me?

JULIAN BASHIR

I am though. I trust your heart. I always did. Your mouth can lie all it wants but your eyes can't. You mastered masking technics, I know, you even can control micro-expressions. Well, sometimes. But you don't do this on a daily basis. You never had the need to do it with me at least. I easily detect your lies. Well, after practice, of course. A lot of practice... My god, I just realized. At first I really thought it is some controlling technic but in time... I was so sure you have no sexual interest in me because you had no reactions.

ELIM GARAK

Oh, yes. Let me guess - you compared my reactions on you with Dukat's reactions on Kira.

JULIAN BASHIR

And now I understand that it wasn't really... Oh boy.

ELIM GARAK

Well, I still don't have sexual interest if you want to be technical about it.

JULIAN BASHIR

So I misinterpreted all your other reactions but they are usually very clear in your men. I imagine your men has to be very clear about what they want without actually... wanting it with their body.

ELIM GARAK

You humans are so centralized on your genitals...

Garak moves his head under which said genitals are placed. Julian is smiling.

The chief of security comes in on this display.

CHIEF OF SECURITY

Argh! Get a room! Not this one though. You're free. Both of you. Get out of here.

JULIAN BASHIR

What? My tactics of locking myself with the prisoner worked?

CHIEF OF SECURITY

There's a riot down there. It's going to be an international conflict if we insist.

ELIM GARAK

Oh, that's alright. I'm sure I can explain to my people that we weren’t political prisoners. In fact, we weren’t even that innocent and you had every right to suspect foul play. But it was one big misunderstanding and we cleared this out.

CHIEF OF SECURITY

Yeah yeah... All you politicians...

EXT. CARDASSIA. STREET LEADING TO THEIR HOUSE - EVENING

Going home hand in hand conversing.

ELIM GARAK

...So soon we will be able to return to night-living again. No need to save electricity anymore. Only ten years and we managed to rebuilt enough power plants. That was seriously good news today. And what was your day?

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh, boring. Mine was boring. I performed risky surgery on myself and nearly died, I was tried by Cardassian trial and surprisingly it was not that bad. Boring.

ELIM GARAK

You're not even trying.

JULIAN BASHIR

Well what's the point.

ELIM GARAK

You'll feel better. You'll see.

JULIAN BASHIR

Okay. Erm... Okay. Today I was conducting research on very mystical Cardassian petrification illness that attacks only children. It believed to be a species reaction to crisis situations. I found that it could be true - this is definitely a mutation and it happens more often after decreasing in population. At least what we can see in very old chronicles. What I don't know is evolutional sense. If it's not just a random mutation as it tries to entrench itself in difficult conditions. To kill off children in a crisis that already killed a good percentage of adults wouldn't have any evolutionary benefit. Unless, of course, it's not the desired effect and we observe failed cases instead of what it has to be. Well, you're right, I feel better. There is life outside of our little tragedy.

ELIM GARAK

I told you so.

JULIAN BASHIR

By the way, about night-living. I would be so relieved. I am a day-liver myself but it's so much cooler at nights so I will be glad to switch. But I'm afraid sun-goggles supplier wouldn't be glad.

ELIM GARAK

Oh those monstrosities.

JULIAN BASHIR

And that's why you had how many eye operations through these years? I heard of three while you were on Earth.

ELIM GARAK

I'd rather be blind that wear something like that.

JULIAN BASHIR

Well, I'm glad you wouldn't have to soon.

ELIM GARAK

What about that petrifying illness?

JULIAN BASHIR

 I believe you may know it as "logging"?

ELIM GARAK

Oh, those. I thought it's a myth.

JULIAN BASHIR

Yeah, that, too. Children that suddenly become logs of wood. Hebitians believed it was punishment of gods or something. It reminds me of my people's fairy tales. Fairies sometimes kidnapped human children and placed logs instead. Other version states that they were exchanging human children with their own or even with their adults. They called them changelings. Sounds familiar?

ELIM GARAK

Changelings were on Earth?

JULIAN BASHIR

I don't think so. Anyway it was theorized that this myth is an attempt to explain many behavioural diversities and genetic mutations.

ELIM GARAK

I can see how this may have been triggering for you.

JULIAN BASHIR

Yeah, I am literally changeling. I frankly wasn't that surprised that the changeling took my place. I was warming it for him.

ELIM GARAK

My love...

JULIAN BASHIR

I know, I know. He... It was too good, even you were fooled. Not my fault.

ELIM GARAK

It isn't. It's your parent's fault.

JULIAN BASHIR

Hm... Is it your tradition to be a source of death to all your lovers' fathers?

ELIM GARAK

Do you want me to?..

JULIAN BASHIR

No.

ELIM GARAK

As you wish.

JULIAN BASHIR

I'm serious. No point. Anyway what I want he will never give. He will never understand that he hurt me.

ELIM GARAK

I can make him. Not torture, Julian, don't look at me like that! But I am very good at convincing people usually.

JULIAN BASHIR

I don't know; it means I have to see them again.

ELIM GARAK

Well, isn't it at least polite to invite parents at your enjoining ceremony?

JULIAN BASHIR

Enjoining ceremony?

ELIM GARAK

Well... Let's see. Everybody knows we're together. We caused the international scandal. But both nations see it now as something bad - Cardassians think it's inappropriate, humans - that it is dangerous.

JULIAN BASHIR

Dangerous?

ELIM GARAK

Well, imagine rumours - sex with a Cardassian maimed human. No wonder there are no interspecies marriages yet. Not with Cardassian males.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh my, they think it's because you're beasts in bed whereas the truth is total opposite.

ELIM GARAK

Right. So we have to make this situation somehow right. As a politician I have to.

JULIAN BASHIR

So enjoining ceremony. Against your people's laws.

ELIM GARAK

There is nothing in our people's laws about the sex of enjoined. Only about fertility. I believe you can make a baby, mister genius doctor.

JULIAN BASHIR

In a tube, yes, but I believe the law was about natural fertility.

ELIM GARAK

Oh, you think you know our laws better than the one who actually help make them. That's cute. The law has a loophole. If the pair already had at least one child, they can enjoin. The origin of that child is not specified except it has to be genetically mutual. The child is a proof that both partners are fertile. In olden times that was the only time when they allow you to enjoin - when the bump started showing.

JULIAN BASHIR

So before this ceremony I have to make one baby. Give me at least nine months. You're talking like we have to enjoin right now.

ELIM GARAK

The license comes into effect since conception.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh goody. I still have to... You know... Figure out how to... And I still don't know what happened last time when I was trying to make both our physiologies work together.

ELIM GARAK

You will have time.

JULIAN BASHIR

Can we just adopt? Didn't you adopt the law about adoptions after the Fire?

ELIM GARAK

Unfortunately, only for couples that already have or had mutual children. But when the first born will be here, we surely will adopt a bunch.

JULIAN BASHIR

Really?

ELIM GARAK

I'm not gonna walk past any orphan again if I can help it.

JULIAN BASHIR

Right. So... Big family?

ELIM GARAK

I know, we both were an only child so it must be frightful.

JULIAN BASHIR

Yes, it scares me.

ELIM GARAK

Well, let's just start with one and then we'll see.

JULIAN BASHIR

Okay.

ELIM GARAK

Good. I'll be in the garden.

They came to the house.

JULIAN BASHIR

I don't want to be alone.

ELIM GARAK

Neither am I.

JULIAN BASHIR

Then why you...

ELIM GARAK

Because garden also helps me stay calm.

JULIAN BASHIR

Okay. I'll be with you then.

ELIM GARAK

But the garden bothers you.

JULIAN BASHIR

You're surprised?

ELIM GARAK

Well, I think you will find now that we're even.

JULIAN BASHIR

(Nervously laughing)

Yeah, right? Now I imagine hospitals will bother you...

ELIM GARAK

You know that I was joking about children. I mean, if you don't want to.

JULIAN BASHIR

I want. That's the problem.

ELIM GARAK

Why problem?

JULIAN BASHIR

What if it won't work? Us?

Garak is not answering.

JULIAN BASHIR

What your law says about divorce? I mean except grounds like infertility and scandal with children outside enjoinment.

ELIM GARAK

You always can dispute your fertility and call upon traditionalists.

JULIAN BASHIR

That, too. But...

ELIM GARAK

There is none. That's why it's called enjoinment. It's a commitment. I was joking about enjoining ceremony, too...

JULIAN BASHIR

I wasn't.

ELIM GARAK

You didn't know then...

JULIAN BASHIR

I didn't know what?

ELIM GARAK

That I am a rapist.

JULIAN BASHIR

You still think that I am capable of feeling about you this way and letting you touch me? Believe me, if I would think for one moment you are capable of raping someone I would run screaming. Your arrangement with Dukat was a complicated and dubious thing. Disgusting even. But I would be a hypocrite if I say I wasn't doing the same shit in my time. I know you are disgusted at yourself for Dukat now as I am for my affairs with Sarina. We both used people sexually. And you made your amends unlike me. I hope I will have guts to do it someday. No. Problem is in the wrong twin.

ELIM GARAK

How?

JULIAN BASHIR

You loved him before me - I can understand that. But you loved him while you said you loved me.

ELIM GARAK

Oh... So it's like you and Dax...

Julian frowns. He clearly didn't think about that.

ELIM GARAK

At least, my love, you were spared from me demonstrating my love for another in front of your nose for seven years!

Garak is angry.

JULIAN BASHIR

Also you can say that at least Akellan is dead. Of course Dax now is a worm and Ezri is not Jadzia....

ELIM GARAK

I can’t because he isn't!

Garak is livid. Well, more than usual.

JULIAN BASHIR

No, Dax is definitely a worm...

ELIM GARAK

I'm talking about Akellen! Who do you think was Pithas Lok in my story in the end?

FADE OUT

THE END

Of Episode V

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Cef'tef – flirt, dirty talk.
> 
> I used Tinsnip and Vyc’s version of the dictionary.


End file.
